Friday, May 30, 2008
CT starts this coming monday
and i am not in any bit ready to face it yet.
the endless disasters that continue to strike on a regular basis,
have led me to just want to give up on everything.
but no, i continue to push on.
to achieve my faraway hopes and dreams.
sometimes, i just wish that somebody would slow me down.
but i know that i am not able to let so many things pass me by.
some would say that i live a lie
rushing and racing and running in circles,
with my head and heart colliding and chaotic.
really, sometimes i am really afraid that i would disappear.
after all the many blur of fast forwards that i had faltered in
i feel as though i'm falling apart.
moving so fast,
i have to keep reminding myself of my purpose.
when i dont have it, i strive hard to get it
and when i finally do get it,
there would come to a point whereby,
a barrier would form and i would be ignorant to it.
then, it would be gone.
perhaps it's due to the hurt that i had encountered before,
or maybe it's just the weird pearlynn syndrome.
but somehow deep down,
i think im really grateful that it protected me from more possible pain and tears above my everyday life.
but, i do yearn for a pillar of support badly too.
oh lord,
please give me strength and spare me these woes,
& teach me to breathe.
With Love,
Pearlynn
at 8:27 PM
